I’m visiting a music store that I work in the chain of. At first I was wondering if I’d be accepted with the other employees. Its a pretty hip store and most people are younger than I. The longer I stay here, the more I realize that I fit in. In fact, these people know me and respect me. I make jokes with them. I’m standing at the counter talking about making some changes and noticing all of the news paraphernalia in the store. I’m trying to piece together how to introduce something. I start joking about a young customer who comes in and asks about some music. I’m pretending to be one of the girls behind the counter and say, “You don’t want that.” They say, “What about…” I say, “You don’t want that.” Then I say something about “Echo and the Shamen” or something like that.
Emotion: This speaks to my insecurities around being with people and having any authority, as if I’ve never earned any reason to be of authority because I don’t feel like I have the right answers.
I’m looking at old videos two guys that I know who would do lots of acrobatics in music videos. I think to myself that it seems cheesy to have done things like this but I’m noticing how coordinated they are. Even tho they’re just some street kids with no real attendance to what’s going on in the world, they’re really in sync with each other and doing some pretty cool moves. I think to myself that maybe I’ve been too critical of who they are.
Emotion: This speak to my critical nature of others which is a reflection of the critical nature of myself.